It's never about the wet towels on the floor, the dishes in the sink, or the laundry not getting done on time.
When we're frustrated with our partners because they didn't follow through on some promise they set (or some expectation you had of them), our relational skills often fly out the window.
Here's the reality: your partner is going to disappoint you. Often.
Most people I know do one of two things in response:
1- Attack them. Then comfort them guiltily after their partner shuts down, and wonder why they don't want to have s3x with their partner years later.
2- Suck it up and convince themselves not to be upset about it, then wonder why they don't want to have s3x with their partner years later.
There issssss another way (that makes it more likely your partner will enthusiastically respond to your deeper longings without either of the above approaches)... and it's going to require that you:
A) take full ownership of your inner experience and…
B) become a master of communication.
Now, when a lot of people hear communication, they yawn and think about "I" statements they learned in their therapists' office...
They think "communicate, communicate, communicate" means "talk more, talk more, talk more."
It doesn't 😬
Have you ever hit "the point of no return" in a heated discussion where you realize you're going in circles and there is no amount of words that will capture the emptiness you feel in your heart?
You're so badly longing to be seen... but you're not showing the full picture of your inner world.
That's because you're only communicating with your head.
And maybe very limited, diluted, lazy word choices at that.
Orrrrr maybe you have impeccable nonviolent communication that you're super proud of -- "Sure, I get that, and also, here's how I see it" -- but your body language is screaming "WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU ASSHOLE"... guess what... your partner is gonna feel and respond to the latter no matter what you say with your mouth.
It's possible to communicate in a way that is a delicious, creative gift to both give and receive.
I've been implementing both nonviolent communication as well as polarity tools for the last few years and... I so often get my way now… without any resistance or resentment 😂 and the relationship is so much more fun and RICH.
80% of communication is non-verbal.
And... that 20% needs mastery as well.
I'm going to address both in my upcoming masterclass, "Watch Your Language: A Masterclass on developing captivating, richer relational expression... with and without words"
WHAT WE WILL COVER:
-Ways you dilute and weaken potentially rich moments to connect
-What it means to take impeccable ownership over your words
-How to express yourself in a way that captures your partner's attention-- without being inauthentic OR manipulating/attacking them
-The Art of Conscious Drama (admit it; you love chaos)
-How to target a problem as a couple instead of targeting one another
Hi, I’m Natalie. I almost left the man of my dreams because I was A. too scared to commit and B. constantly showing up in a way that made us interact with one another in icky, unattractive ways.
I'm a relationship anxiety coach. I help women do the inner and outer work in their relationships so they can show up securely in a way they feel proud of, while feeling authentically attracted to their partners. My approach combines a specific kind of collaborative-type meditation while also implementing conscious tools to create magnetic connection and trust.
I made this course as a way to help you immediately shift icky, shameful dynamics around needs and emotions, while also opening up space for your partner to be himself. I've been with my partner 8 years and use these exact tools to create attraction and trust-- people often think we've been dating 6 months!
It's my hope that this course will be the beginning of a self-reflective journey that wildly impacts the way you interact with and feel about your man.